Lost Valentine
by NekoLen
Summary: It has been one hard year since Phantom was killed in the first war. Peta has kept his head up and nose to the grindstone, but when Valentine's Day rears its ugly head, he doesn't know what to do. He used to spend this special day with Phantom... One shot


The clouds above darkened, threatening rain. Peta still didn't move. He watched the dust and dirt on the tombstone swirl in circles around the engraved name, 'PHANTOM.' 

Even Peta himself didn't understand why today he just couldn't keep pretending. He was sick of the lie he had created, sick of living like he never knew nor cared about the sweet man now buried six feet below him now.

Today had been tough. Peta had to organize a full scale cover-up since a couple of 'trigger-happy' Chess Pieces went on a rampage.

"I just don't know what to do anymore, Phantom..." Peta mumbled, feeling a hot burning feeling rise up his throat. It sickened him... this feeling of complete hopelessness and...

Peta's shoulders started to shake. He couldn't hold it all in any longer. His legs buckled suddenly, as if he had been hit over the shins with a hard stick. He fell forward, on his knees, tears flowing freely from his eyes as he felt his heart brake all over again.

"Phantom... Do you know what today is?" he asked the grey tombstone. "It's February the 14th... Val... Valentine's Day..." He hiccoughed. All these new feelings... guilt, regret, loneliness and broken heartedness flooded Peta's senses. He tried to pull himself together.

"If you saw me..." his voice broke as painful memories came to him, torturing his soul.

He remembered how Phantom used to smile. It was the very thing Peta had lived for. The way his eyes closed and his mouth curved upwards... and his laughter... Phantom's laughter still haunted him.

He missed everything about Phantom from the way he acted to his hazy purple eyes that seemed to x-ray him. He even missed Phantom's sexual appetite.

Peta couldn't help but to grin at this memory. Phantom had sometimes acted so... promiscuous. He laughed softly to himself and stared at Phantom's grave once more.

"I guess that's ONE thing I won't miss... You made me less of a virgin than when we first met..." Peta smirked. He paused, waiting for a snide remark but, of course, none came. Phantom was dead and Peta had to accept that fact.

He stood wobbly to his feet and wiped his tears. "There... you saw me cry... After all these years..." Peta sighed. He turned from the grave and closed his eyes, letting the cool afternoon breeze stroke his face: feeling so much like Phantom's lifeless fingers.

"I can all most see you... my Phantom. Laughing at my misery, yet somehow cheering me with your empty meaningless words..." Peta whispered to the image of Phantom in his mind.

He opened his eyes and swept from the graveyard, thinking of his empty bed and loneliness.

* * *

The moonlight pierced the damp darkness of Peta's room as Peta sat on his bed, staring at a picture he held in his hands. The silver ghostly light illuminated the picture revealing a painting of Phantom.

Peta sighed and placed the picture back on the wall next to his rickety single bed. When he sat back on his bed, it gave an ominous clunk like always and sunk down a bit.

Peta ignored it, as always, and lay down on his back. He stared up at the ceiling, but he never really saw it. He was far too lost in his own bitter sweet memories.

He now remembered when Phantom had appeared in his life. It was as if Destiny itself was smiling down on him when he first met Phantom. Peta smiled weakly when he remembered how, at first, he had thought Phantom was a madman. The way he ranted and raved on about taking over MARHeaven... Peta couldn't help but to laugh. The younger Phantom was a lot more spontaneous than the older one Peta secretly preferred. But even now Peta wouldn't have minded the younger Phantom... just as long as Phantom was alive again.

Peta's mind wondered into memories of the hot sweaty nights that had kept both of them awake. He blushed at these memories. He felt dirty and perverted when he remembered Phantom like that. Phantom was more than great sex; he was an excellent leader, one that anybody could fall in love with... it's just that Peta loved him MORE than just a great leader to revere... he had gone one step further.

The moon his behind a black cloud, casting Peta's pale face into shadows that seemed to reflect his mood. He struggled to decide... WAS he in love with Phantom? Was it love or lust? What was the difference? Peta laughed awkwardly. Why was he asking such questions? It was better if he didn't know the answers. He was afraid... what if all he needed of Phantom was protection... or worse... sex?

Peta turned onto his stomach and regretted his actions at once. As he lay there, his imagination kicked in. He started to feel his skin prickle under his robes as he imagined Phantom's cold tongue power down his spine. The urge was so powerful... Peta just had to rip off his clothes and lay naked on his sheets.

Blushing furiously, Peta lay on his back and let the cool air fondle his naked skin. He could easily imagine that it really was Phantom's ghost stroking his skin with his dainty hand. He started to feel hot and tight in between his legs, but that was all he could experience from pure imagination alone. He shook his head. There was no way that he would resort to touching himself.

He burrowed his way under the heavy velvet blankets, liking the soft feeling that caressed his entire body. Then a thought struck him: _What if Phantom WAS a ghost?_

As this thought sunk in, Peta felt more aroused than ever. His hand started to sneak down his chest and, before he knew it, he started masturbating.

"Oh, Phantom... I knew it... You're here with me... Right here..." he moaned. He realised what he was doing and stopped automatically. The last thing he needed was Phantom's ghost catching him wanking himself over him.

He blushed a darker shade of red.

"Phantom... If you saw me now..." He sighed and shook his head. "Who am I kidding? You're dead... but not gone." He smiled and hit his forehead. "Why have I been acting like you're never coming back?"

He snuggled down into his blankets and let sleep take him, promising that never again would he act the way he had been. Phantom WOULD return.

And until then,  
Goodbye my love

My sweetie-pie.  
And until then,  
I'll miss you

Phantom.

-This story was inspired by the Recruitment of the Ducks (done by me XD) and the song 'Valentine's Day' by Linkin Park (Lyrics below. I do not own these lyrics; they are written and owned by Linkin Park. They are only here for a mood setter and for an imagination helper. I am not wanting to copyright, I just want to share this brilliant song with the people that haven't heard it, or worse, don't know who LP are.)

My insides all turn to ash,  
So slow.  
And blew away as I collapsed,  
So cold.  
A black wind took them away,  
From sight.  
And held the darkness over day,  
That night.

And the clouds above move closer,  
Looking so dissatisfied.  
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing...

I used to be my own protection,  
But not now.  
'Cause my path has lost direction,  
Somehow.  
A black wind took you away,  
From sight.  
And held the darkness over day,  
That night.

And the clouds above move closer,  
Looking so dissatisfied.  
And the ground below grew colder, As they put you down inside.  
But the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing...

So now you've gone and I was wrong,  
I never knew what it was like to be alone...

On a Valentine's Day.


End file.
